Things changed quickly that day; before having children I really didn't know what it meant to take charge and do what was needed at any given moment. When diapers needed changing, baths needed taking, and crying needed soothing, I was there and did what I had to do.
I have come to find that the giving up becomes increasingly poingnant as time goes by because the longer I live, the more I've missed in the lives of those I left behind.
So what is it that keeps me going when giving up sorely tempts me to walk away? I can answer this question with a question: What is there to go back to?
Psalm 11:1,4 LB "How dare you tell me, 'Flee to the mountains for safety,' when I am trusting in the Lord?...But the Lord is still in His holy temple; He still rules from heaven..."
Since God is after the best for me, not what He can get from me as I have thought in times past, it would seem the best course of action would be to trust His processes over my own.
The meaning of the hashtag finally had dawned on the horizon of my understanding. The humble hashtag, when followed by a word or several words connected without spaces, is meant to connect people to the subject at hand and communicate a short truth such as #thestruggleisreal.
We are required to put a little “sweat equity” into this walk of faith. Sometimes this journey is harrowing, fraught with impossibilities – but that’s where God comes in.
We sing songs saying, “God take control” but the moment He tries to take over, we recoil.
It therefore was a foreign feeling to me when it became clear that our next assignment was going to bring us back to Burundi. I had become so used to being the one who would go scratch something out of the ground that even considering a return made my head spin.
When a fisherman spends more of his life on shore than in the water, his very value comes into question because fishermen are meant to fish.