Originally published in 2017, I’m still finding myself slaying the dragon!
It won’t be good enough.
In high school, I had worked for weeks on a science project and I was sure that the my miserable project would barely earn me a C, if not a D or F. Back in those days, we had no Internet, but my parents drove me to our local library regularly in the weeks before the project’s due date to research and work. I was sure it would barely pass as I knew others would have better organized, better looking projects. A cloud of impending doom hovered over me after handing it in and I dreaded finding out my final project grade. On that fateful day, I was so nervous; I remember creating scenarios in my mind of how I would explain my failure to my parents. The bell rang and I took my seat; my face must have betrayed my feelings, as my teacher said, “Lea, why are you so worried? Yours was one of the best projects. Congratulations on a well-deserved A.” I couldn’t believe my work was worth an A, but she did and, much to my relief, I would not have to explain a failing grade to my parents.
As an adult I’ve continued to battle feelings of inadequacy, not making the grade no matter how hard I try. Whatever job, ministry, or family activity I’ve taken part in, the dark cloud of inadequacy and failure has followed me; it’s like a sleeping dragon that only awakens to remind me of how impossibly inadequate I am.
I’ve learned that I’m not alone in this struggle; many of us battle daily with feelings of inadequacy at home, work, church, school, or whatever we are involved in. This world has a way of making us feel inadequate; we just don’t “cut the mustard.” That inadequacy in turn convinces us that we’re disqualified – nothing we do will ever be good enough.
These feelings often bleed into our relationships. Wives can’t believe their husbands love them or vice-versa. Everyone doubts they are good enough – and this doubt sabotages our love for one another – because we doubt ourselves, we doubt everyone else. It’s a potentially catastrophic mixture that certainly has resulted in broken friendships, marriages, and caused immeasurable tension in families.
It seems so very hopeless! It’s as if we are living in a perpetual state of overwhelming darkness; an impossible problem with no workable answer.
Enter into the equation the marvelous grace of God through Jesus Who loved us so much that He took all of our failings and inadequacies and in exchange gave us all that He is, and He is much more than adequate. He is more than enough!
Luke 1:76-79 MSG “And you, my child, ‘Prophet of the Highest,’ will go ahead of the Master to prepare his ways, present the offer of salvation to his people, the forgiveness of their sins. Through the heartfelt mercies of our God, God’s Sunrise will break in upon us, shining on those in the darkness, those sitting in the shadow of death, then showing us the way, one foot at a time, down the path of peace.”
I love to run early in the morning, it’s a time when everything is new and life is coming alive with the rising of the sun. On most of my early morning runs, I struggle to get one foot in front of the other when I first step out of the door. Yet, as the time passes, my energy awakens and before I know it, I have found my pace: one foot in front of the other. I can’t run before the sun rises, there’s no light to show me the way. Once the sun rises, unless I step out of the house and start, I won’t go anywhere. In the same way, we can’t run in our daily lives until His light dawns on the horizons of our lives and we make that first step.
While we have lived in the dark, the sunrise has come and the light has finally dawned. Why don’t you take a look outside? It’s bright and beautiful and with Him living inside you, you have what it takes to slay the dragon of inadequacy.
The sun is rising! Isn’t it beautiful?