The Harshest of Teachers

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I’m all for preparation.

We need to prepare ingredients to bake a cake.

We need to prepare for the first day of school by purchasing school supplies.

We need to prepare for life by choosing a career path.

Preparation is simply part and parcel of life and a wise person does his/her best to prepare for life as it happens. However, there are some things we can’t prepare enough for.

No one is prepared to face the death of a loved one. Even if plans have been laid out for years and the person who has passed away is well advance in years and had a full life, the emotions that are stirred up when facing death are unexpectedly intense and surprising to even the strongest among us.

No one is ever adequately prepared for marriage. While I highly recommend marriage counseling and a thorough “vetting” of a relationship prior to marriage, the emotional and financial responsibilities that come with marriage can only be fully faced when married.

No one is ever adequately prepared to have children. It is wisdom to save money and do what you can to prepare for having children – but once the children come, it becomes painfully obvious that no amount of preparation really prepares one for parenthood.

When the call came for us to work overseas, I wasn’t prepared for what was waiting for me in lands unknown. The harshest of teachers, experience, was (and is) my mentor. First experiences are unforgiving, unkind, and unfeeling. What I felt when I first landed in Africa with my then 18 month old son on my lap, could not have been prepared for; I could only experience it in the moment and I had to decide in that moment how to react.

After landing and settling into our home, nothing prepared me for the loneliness I would feel as the only young mother among the few missionaries serving with us. I had to live it, I had to experience it, and I had to learn how to navigate the waters of solitude. In our Western culture, we place a high priority on having a circle of friends to lean on and support us in seasons of difficulty. That was taken away from me in a moment of time and I had no choice but to learn how to survive (and eventually thrive).

These experiences, and many more, have come at a high price. My entire thought and faith process had to change when I faced the unexpected. Initially, I was tempted to become bitter and point my finger heavenwards and say (with great indignation), “I obeyed the call! I did what You wanted and now this?” Honestly, I went through a period when I did exactly that; I expected God to roll out the red carpet for me. I expected that all would be prepared. Wasn’t God grateful for my obedience? What I didn’t understand then is that God wasn’t impressed by my answering the call. As much as I praised myself for daring to move far from family and friends, God wasn’t asking something of me that He had not asked of His own Son.

In this “line of work” there is little we can do to prepare for the unseen as what is unseen here is far beyond what we can imagine. Someone coined the phrase, “where truth is stranger than fiction” when trying to describe the challenges we face on the continent of Africa.

How can we prepare for a sudden devaluation of the currency? One day in 2011, we lost $500.00 due to a sudden and unannounced devaluation of local currency.

How can we prepare for an unexpected lack of cement in the stores when we’re in the middle of building?

How can we prepare for all forms of communication with the outside world being cut during a coup-d-état?

Through all of these years and experiences (many of them painful) there is one lesson that I can’t put a price on. This lesson has cost me my entire life to learn but I would gladly pay it again as this lesson has kept me time and again through the harshest of seasons. I have learned that I have a Father Who keeps His eye on me and not only understands but also walks with me through the most difficult moments. He has taught me that I’m never alone, never without His care, and that He is always pleased with me. He has walked with me through the fire as well as on top of the mountain – and He has always made sure there was enough to care for me and my own.

So, in some way, I’m more prepared than many for what “might” happen and I’m not afraid. I’m still answering the call, still facing the unknown, and all I can say is, “What’s next Dad?”

Luke 22:35 ESV “And He said to them, ‘When I sent you out with no moneybag or knapsack or sandals, did you lack anything?’ They said, ‘Nothing.’…”

3 thoughts on “The Harshest of Teachers

  1. You truly exemplify faith and confidence in the provision of our God! Beautiful testimony in this post! Thank you. I love this song by Kutless as well. I’ve held onto it many times when life appeared uncertain. ❤ and hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

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